Wednesday, April 6, 2011

10 Billion Headdesks With a Side of Fries

Formal: In euro's, please.

Author's Note: This is also posted on "Expressions of the Writing Components: Arguments of a Distinctly Wordish Flavor." (if you want to find that, just google it and if that doesn't work, contact me) Frankly, this is expresses my mood rather well.

Creative: -sits in the corner, sulking-

Formal: -looks around the room- -straightens his tie- Hello, everyone. My name is Formal E. Writing and I will be your guide for this evening. Currently, one of the authors of this brilliant if slightly uncouth blog is sitting behind a keyboard, letting me vent her frustrations. I can only assume that the other writer is trapped behind the wonderful mires of editing that Creative was so happy to provide.

Creative: -sticks out her tongue-

Formal: Behave, sister. We have guests. There are many differences between my sister and I, as I am sure any of you experienced writers have picked up on. While Creative has many children, such as Short Story, Novel, Screenplay, and all my other -cough-annoying-cough- nieces and nephews, my children are the refined Research, Thematic, Persuasive, Editorial, and a few others.

Thematic: Hi Dad! Hi Auntie!

Creative: -brightens slightly- Hi 'Ematic.

Formal: Thematic, son, I'm busy, right now.

Thematic: -joins Creative in the corner- -sulks-

Research: -watching the scene, jotting down notes on a piece of yellow paper-

Formal: Formal writing is a joy to behold when done properly. A scientific paper that brims full of words that only us geniuses can understand, or maybe even a persuasive article that changes the course of history. Those. Those wonderful moments are what makes writing so important!

Creative: -huffs-

Formal: At present, Research and I are helping our current authoress with a paper about the economic crisis in the European Union. It is a fascinating subject, really. As is the discussion that her English class had yesterday on the connection between fast food restaurants and obesity.

Creative: >.<

Formal: -clears his throat- I would like to say that formal writing is much more beneficial than creative writing, a thousand pardons to my dear sister. But formal writing is just so much more important. And I've brought my sons Research and Persuasive to help prove my point. Thematic, stay in the corner, we don't need you.

Thematic: -heaves a dramatic sigh-

Persuasive: -glides into the center of the room and flashes a bright smile- Hi all! I'm here to convince you that my way is the best way, because I'm just the best person to ever walk the earth.

Formal: -flashes Persuasive a dotting smile-

Research: -trips forward to stand next to Persuasive- R...r...right. So, formal writing is better than creative writing. I don't know, Dad, this is kind of an opinion peace, maybe I should--

Persuasive: Have no fear, little brother! You shall benefit my cause to make everyone see the world my way. For I am the chosen from above! You must all bow down and worship me.

Thematic: -grumbles-

Creative: -eye roll- I'm pretty sure the last person who said that got a shoe thrown at them.

Persuasive: Oh, my dear Aunt Creative! I never hear from you! You don't write! You don't call! I was beginning to think you had forgotten me! -fake cries-

Creative: -aside to Thematic- Pity. I almost had forgotten him.

Thematic: -snickers-

Formal: If you'd please, my children. We have a schedule to keep.

Persuasive: Yes. Sorry father. -flashes another grin- See things my way! Because I am the right way! I can convince you all to agree with me because I am a son of Formal and Formal is loads better than Creative.

Research: To support the opinion that formal writing is better than creative writing, well--

Persuasive: Be quiet, Research, let me speak! I'm the Persuasive one.

Formal: -dotting grin-

Creative: -exams her nails- What do you think, Thematic? Should I pull the plug on this oh so fascinating deliberation yet?

Thematic: -bounces- -nods-

Creative: -whistles-

A Giant Horde of Every Destructive Beast Known to Human Literature: -stampede Formal and Persuasive-

Persuasive: -dies-

Formal: ahhh--! -dies-

Creative: I rule. -walks away-

Authoress: I HATE FORMAL WRITING! Although, I have no idea why Persuasive died and Research didn't, seeing as I'm pouring my brains out over a research paper and not a persuasive paper...