Thursday, February 17, 2011

My English Teacher's Shoes

There's a lot of interesting things about my English teacher. She's a crazy person, is really good at teaching her subject in and kind of offbeat, almost silly way, and she talks way too much about her fiance. Seriously, I know more about her fiance than I know about some of my friends at school. But then, the English teacher that I did Shakespeare with at the homeschool group never stopped taking about her family, ever. What is it with English teachers and their families?

So, my teacher, who for the purpose of this thingy-ma-bob, I will call Ms. Kinetic – a long and twisted explainable reason for that, but an explanation no less – opens one of the first lessons of the entire year with an icebreaker. Two truths and a lie. She placed her own truths and a lie up on the board and made us guess. The options up on the board were:

1) I have two cats, one is diabetic.

2) I have over 120 pairs of shoes.

3) I read over fifty books a year.

This is a class of twenty-something very intelligent English kids. Ten people guessed the diabetic cat. Twelve people guessed the shoes. Me and the girl who sits next to me, guessed the books. Me and the girl were given candy for picking the right lie, and by default, making the fact that she has over 120 pairs of shoes true.

Ever since that first day, I've been watching her shoes. And I think I've seen enough now to describe the ones I've seen her wear. Which are probably about about 15 or 20 different pairs...

The most common ones are a black pair of 3inch (about) high-heeled, knee-high boots with a silver zipper going from the toe to the top of the boot. I don't think high-heeled boots are comfortable, but that zipper is a little extreme, I mean, it has to dig into her foot somewhere! She's got at least two other pairs of black high-heeled, knee-high boots because one of them buckles on the inside, and the other buttons on the outside. All three of those boots are very similar, however.

Ms. Kinetic also has this pair of fluffy-ish slipper things. It's obviously imitation fur, and the slippers come up to mid-thigh length but I've only seen her wear them twice. They look really comfortable. There's a pair of white high-heels that only come up to her ankles, two tap strappy things that must be really uncomfortable, and a pair of converses that say “Gotcha” up the sides of them. That's what, eight pairs of shoes?

She also has these purple boots that don't have heels, but hug around her ankles really tightly and she once tripped over the trailing end of one of her crazy shawls because her those shoes wouldn't let her ankle bend. I mean, seriously, are all teachers insane?!

On spirit day – our school colors are orange and black – she was wearing a pair of clogs that were about two-feet high and were completely black, with orange flames dancing around bottoms. She won the best teacher spirit for those shoes alone. And I've seen four other pairs of clogs, all of them tan, but they all have different lengths and one of them has a giant purple flower on either shoe. I think that brings the tally up to fourteen shoes.

And I know that's not all the shoes she has. I can't wait for spring to come where we actually get to see real sandals.

Ms. Kinetic also wears a lot of jewelry, but not so much that I haven't started to recognize some. She's always got this particular bracelet on, which I think must be a substitute for an engagement ring because I know she's engaged, but she never has the same ring on all the time and I've never seen her without that bracelet. She's got this black and silver watch with hearts on it. Four little black and silver studded bracelets and fit together and... didn't I say she wears a ton of black and silver. She's got this gigantic emerald necklace that must be an heirloom, or her fiance is very, very, very rich.

And Ms. Kinetic is just the worst. Two of my other teachers have very strange clothing things... My gym teacher has 38 different pairs of converses. And my homeroom teacher, MR. “Seuss” always wears purple. Purple shirt. Purple shoes. Purple pants. It doesn't matter. His backpack is purple. His overcoat is purple. His everything is purple. It's absolutely ridiculous. But most of them are really good teachers. I got lucky, all but one of my teachers are phenomenal and the one that isn't isn't mentioned in this thingy.

There now, I've babbled on for over eight hundreds words about a topic that will interest absolutely no one. Yay me!

You know, I used to love shoes. I used to sleep with shoes.


  1. Hey. You poked fun at the five fingers. I had to say i/something/i.

  2. XD